Postmodern Pastoral: Independence Day
Originally posted for the Agonist.
As an expatriated US citizen, the 4th of July has become ever more problematic every year as I continually rework who I am and how I fit into America. And how America fits into me. Identity, I’ve discovered, is a process, a renegotiation with myself and the people, places, and ever changing contexts around me. I’m not the same man I was a year ago, let alone 10. And so too has the meaning of Independence Day shifted for me over time. Today I feel independent, though I’m not really. I’ll get to that later. But I’m privileged in this here world. I’m White, male, educated, and I live in Denmark.
As most of you know Sean Paul was up here in my little postmodern pastoral neck of the woods before returning back to the land of sprawl. He invited me to write about the garden, “kind of like Don’s Sabbath eve series,” he said. No thanks. Can’t do it. That would require a degree of candor and personal honesty that I simply can’t muster. It’s damn hard work separating the bullshit from the real shit. Americans, and increasingly the rest of us, our chin deep in bull shit.
I’m also terribly busy. No, active. Busyness implies both work and stress. I have neither at the moment. Since finishing my graduate degree I became a father for the second time and began working in (retreating too) our colony garden. I also have several small money earning gigs just under the radar, enough so that we can enjoy small luxuries like ice cream at the harbor or a weekend in Cph. Its enough for now. My wife is happy and so am I.
Today I took the day off from building and gardening. Not to celebrate July 4, but because I finished roofing yesterday and my back is killing me. It’s also damn hot here too. It aint goddamned hot, or the “Africa hot” as Matthew Broderick’s character in the film adaptation of Biloxi Blues would say. “Even Tarzan couldn’t take this heat!” But we’re hanging around the lower 90s which is real warm for these parts. Warm enough for swimming at one of the Storebælt beaches which is where the kids are now. I’m joining them after this. This evening at the garden Camilla will dig up new potatoes and pick arugula for dinner. Sebastian will pluck strawberries for desert. Sean-Paul unfortunately didn’t taste our wonderful strawberries as he left before they had fully ripened.
But questions of identity and patriotism continue to challenge me. Even the word expatriate is loaded with meanings and questions about who, when and how one relates in the world as a citizen. The word seems utterly devoid of the human or the natural. When SP was here he got to experience our roof christening after setting the last roof rafter. In keeping with local tradition I hoisted a Danish flag over the roof, along with a wreath a neighbor gave us, made from hedge branches and flowers. I told Sean Paul that it felt a little weird hoisting that flag. He thought it was “cool.” It was both. But weird certainly not because of any lingering US nationalisms. Its cultural for me. I may be making Danish roots but I’m still Texan and… American. At least that’s what my passport says. That’s what everyone notices in my fat accent when I speak Danish. So even simple symbolic acts like hoisting a Danish flag or not celebrating Independence Day resonate.
Independence Day? From what? Who participates in “democracy” and who is left out in the cold? I don’t think I’m alone at the Agonist, whatever your birth certificate says, in feeling overall pessimistic about the future of the American experiment and the global ramifications of its neoliberal new world order. It’s difficult celebrating “American Democracy” these days when all we’ve really got left is the movie. Robert Gibbons writes that this is Unique to America. I’m cheered up at least.
But I sure miss my family and friends back home. And I want to echo graham’s sentiment. The world is complex and so are we. And the garden is mostly where I try and work it all out. I’ll also try and share my thoughts from the garden here from time to time. Wishing you all a happy 4th of July as you gather with your family and friends today, wherever you are in the world; pat, expat, repat, or nopat. And try and stay cool!